Christmas ‘Dad’ Jokes

With Christmas fast approaching, I thought I’d use this week’s blog post to spread some festive cheer.

So here are 20 of the greatest ‘Christmas Dad Jokes’ you will ever hear. Enjoy!


1. Why did Santa pour Lemsip into the chimney?

He was coming down with the flue.

2. How Does Darth Vader like his Christmas Turkey?

On The Dark Side

3. What do Wikileaks staff have with their Christmas Turkey?

An Anonymous Sauce

4. What do you call a cat sitting in the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws

5. What says ‘Oh Oh Oh’?

Santa walking backwards

6. Why are Dasher and Dancer always taking coffee breaks?

Because they are the ‘Star’ bucks

7. Why is Santa always so happy?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live

8. What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?

Whatever you want. He can’t hear you.

9. I can’t get into the chocolates in my advent calendar

Foiled again!

10. How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?

No Brussels

11. What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

“It’s Christmas Eve”

12. What does Miley Cyrus have for her Christmas Dinner?


13. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

Mince Spy

14. Why was the Turkey in a band?

He was the only one with Drumsticks

15. What doesn’t eat at Christmas?

A Turkey because it’s always stuffed

16. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?


17. What do you call Santa living at the South Pole?

A lost clause

18. How does an elf get to Santa’s workshop?

By icicle

19. What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish

20. What Christmas Carol is a favourite of parents?

Silent Night.

Have you got one not on the list, comment below. Let’s spread some festive cheer.

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