Dad Jokes

Dad Jokes seem to be the order of the day on twitter of late and what better way to launch the refreshed blog layout with a collation of the best.

So here are 20 Dad Jokes that have either made me chuckle or cringe within the last few weeks. Be sure to check out the guys that I’ve stolen some of these jokes off.

1. RIP Boiled Water

You’ll be Mist

 

2. Did you hear about the man who’s ass fell off

He went to the Wholesalers (Daddy Poppins)

 

3. My Girlfriend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.

I had to put my foot down (Dad and That)

 

4. I’ve found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters

Its shift work (Dad and That)

 

5. What did the cheese say when he looked in the mirror

Halloumi (Jacks Dad)

 

6. What did the buffalo say when he left his son

Bison

 

7. Two peanuts walking down the road

One was a salted

 

8. What lion never growls

A dandelion (One Hull of a Dad)

 

9. I don’t think my bedroom ceiling is the best in the world

But it’s certainly up there

 

10. I had a dream that I was a muffler last night

I woke up exhausted

 

11. What do you call a fake noodle

An impasta

 

12. What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos

 

13. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho Cheese

 

14. Why did A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?

Because he has a vowel movement

 

15. Whiteboards………….are remarkable

 

16. What did the grape say when it was crushed?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine

 

17. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the ugly guys house
Knock, Knock
Who’s there………

 

18. How do you organise a space party?

You planet

 

19. I gave all my dead batteries away today

Free of charge

 

20. Who ever invented the knock knock jokes

Should get a no bell prize.

 

Have you got a Dad Joke not on the list, comment below. You cannot beat a good old dad joke.

Thank you for reading

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